Aspire to be better

It has been quite awhile since I sat down to write a blog post, even though I've had countless ideas running through my mind for the past couple months. It's a new year, which brings out all those "new years resolutions". You know which ones I'm talking about. The resolutions that you make because you feel like you should---even though you know there's no chance in you know where that you'll actually complete them. The resolutions that you feel like are the "right things to say you want to accomplish" such as losing weight or eating healthier.

I'm not a fan of resolutions and here's why:

The word resolution basically means to do or not to do something. Nowadays, the term 'New Year's Resolution' holds no deeper meaning. It has become a "goal" you set in the beginning of the year that you know is most likely not going to be accomplished. And, shockingly, when our new year's resolutions get pushed aside and forgotten, we can laugh it off and say, "Oh, no one actually completes those, so it's fine". You've heard that before, right?

So here's what I would suggest:

Instead of the word 'resolution', let's look at the word 'aspiration'. Aspiration means the hope or ambition of achieving something. To me, that already sounds a hundred times better than a resolution. There are some powerful words in that simple definition. Hope. Ambition. Achieving.
All three of those words require some sort of emotional connection to what you're aspiring towards. Remember resolution? To do or not to do something. That doesn't require any effort or really any consequence if not completed. But if you aspire toward something you really want, then you won't be okay when it goes unaccomplished.

Now here's another thought I had on the new year:

We've all heard, and maybe even said, the phrase "New year, new me". My problem with this statement is that it implies a complete change or shift in your life as soon as the clock changes from 11:59 pm on December 31st to 12:00 am on January 1st. I say kudos to you if you can just start fresh at the beginning of every year. But, if you're like me, it's not so easy. I've been thinking a lot about the people who don't get to say "new year, new me". The people who are taking the problems from 2016 with them into 2017. And honestly, I would say I'm one of those people. 2016 wasn't so good to me. Sure, there were good moments. I made it to state for track, I graduated high school, my brother came home from his mission, and I got a puppy. But, there were also some serious negatives. I couldn't afford to go to college right away, Josh left for the Air Force, my parents started their divorce papers, my dad left, and I've just felt pretty exhausted with life. But here's what has really stood out to me in the past couple weeks, and it goes back to the word 'aspiration'. 2017 will still contain the same problems for me that 2016 held. But, the difference is, I'm starting off the year with hope. I'm engaged to the man of my dreams, even though the situation is difficult. He's 1,000 miles away and we have no idea when he'll get to come home next. I have a cute puppy to keep me company and make me smile on the days that are rough. I have a great family who is loving and supports me. . .and I'll be gaining a second family who I love just as much. All of these aspects of my life give me hope.

Before Josh got on the plane to go back to Texas, we sat at his gate together and talked about some aspirations we have as a couple. I told him I would always tell him what was on my mind, whether it was telling him when I think he looks handsome, or telling him when something is bothering me. We made aspirations as a couple for the new year. But I think what also makes an aspiration different from a resolution is the timeline. A resolution usually only lasts however long you can keep it going. But an aspiration will, hopefully, last your entire life. Sure, we made these goals as a couple for the next year as we're starting our lives together, but that doesn't mean it will end on January 1st of 2018. These aspirations we have will impact and change our relationship for an eternity.

If you are an avid New Year's Resolution-ist, I'm not trying to degrade you for that. If you can make a resolution and stick to it, then good job and I'm proud of you! But to the others who struggle, I challenge you to drop the resolution and add an aspiration. Aspire to be more kind. Aspire to be more forgiving. Aspire to be a giver. Aspire to make the best of every situation. Aspire to have more hope. Aspire to be better. Because that's really what it's all about, right? Being better than we were before.

With love,
Cort