Josh called me Monday afternoon and told me he got leave and would be flying in that next morning. My emotions went through the roof! Excitement, anxiety, stress, nerves, joy---you name it, I felt it. We decided on Friday for our wedding because that gave some of my family from out of state time to make it up to Utah and gave us a little time after the wedding before he had to leave on the following Monday. Tuesday morning, I wake up before the crack of dawn to start getting ready to go to the airport to pick up Josh, even though he wouldn't be landing for another five hours. We pick him up, many tears were shed, and we start on our wedding checklist! Marriage license, suit, shoes, shirt, etc. We got it all done! Wednesday morning we wake up and have another list to complete so we get started right away. About mid morning, Josh is in the middle of shaving and gets a call from his Sergeant, which only means one thing---bad news. Josh gets off the phone and bursts into tears. He sits down, gathers me on his lap, and tells me he received his orders and has to report back in San Antonio as soon as possible. We did everything we could to delay it to even the next day, but it just wasn't possible (when they say ASAP, they really do mean as soon as possible). So, we start to brainstorm. Courthouse? Small ceremony? All I knew was, I wasn't letting Josh leave this time without becoming my husband. One o'clock rolls around and we decide, through much deliberation, that we're going to throw together a small ceremony. Then we have to decide where. Josh pulls out his tablet and types in Provo Canyon, because it just fit us. We spent so much time up there when we were dating that we knew it would be special no matter what. We find a gorgeous park (via Google satellite images) and decide that was it! We start making our calls and letting friends and family know a small ceremony was going to be happening at 4:30 that evening. About this time, three angels from my church show up at my doorstep and offer to help. Decorations were gathered, plans were made, and we were off! Our wedding was planned in about three hours, but I can't think of one thing I would change. I had a photographer willing to drop everything and come take pictures of a quick first look before the ceremony, and capture pictures throughout. I had a family friend sing a song for me to walk down the aisle to, and I had my best friend, my Papa Pete, lend me his arm as we made our way to Josh. My bishop, a man I have grown to respect so much, gave us advice and led us to the "I do's". But most importantly, I had my one true love standing next to me and holding my hand.
As I have been a military girlfriend, a military fiancé, and now a military wife, I have learned one big lesson. We really don't have much control over what happens. This life is so hard. It's unexpected. It throws you punches again and again and again. You can't make any plans because you know they'll undoubtedly end up changing. But what I've come to realize is that is not necessarily a bad thing. I didn't choose the military life, but I did choose Joshua. I choose him everyday, every moment, every second. I choose him in a hundred lifetimes, all because I love him. And with him, comes the military. Our country just needs him more than I do right now, and I'm so proud of him for being willing to answer the call---even when it's a call we really don't want to answer.
I want everyone to know we're doing okay. We stayed strong at the airport and didn't cry. We said our "I'll see you soon's" because it really is temporary. I keep reminding myself this won't last forever. Our lives will start someday, it's just not right now, and I'm okay with that because he is officially mine and I'm officially his. It will happen eventually and that makes me so happy. I'm grateful to Heavenly Father for giving me the strength to live this lifestyle. It's not easy and I don't think any military wife or husband would claim it is, but it is doable. Heavenly Father has blessed me with the personality to be able to withstand the distance and separation and I know Josh and I were put together for a reason. I just can't wait to see what that reason is.
Our wedding day wasn't what we ever imagined it would be like, but it was perfect. My heart is so full. Full of love for all the family and friends who were there, who have supported us from day one, who have been cheering us on, and who haven't gotten frustrated at us when we changed plans last minute. So many miracles have happened within the past 48 hours. We went through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs, but most of all, there was a lot of love. And for that reason, I am so at peace. I'm content, I'm happy, and I'm officially Mrs. Austin. That brings me too much joy to dwell on anything sad.
Joshua Austin,
You are my best friend. You have kept me on my toes, tried my patience, but have shown me an immeasurable amount of love. That love is what keeps me going.
As I said "I do" today, I made a promise to always love you. I promise to understand that we can't always choose how our life goes. I promise to follow you to Germany, to Alaska, and to anywhere in-between. With you, I am home, and that will never change.
I promise to be here for you on face time whenever we're apart. I promise to learn how to change a tire so I'm not stranded and helpless while you're gone. I promise to make you laugh when you're sad. I promise to try to be a good mother to our children and to love them with my whole heart. I promise to never forget the little things and to never stop doing little gestures that let you know I care about you. But most importantly, I promise to love you when life seems easy and when life seems hard. We're spending our wedding night in different states, back on different times, and with different schedules, but it's okay. I love you more than I knew I could possibly love someone, and I will hold onto that until I can hold onto you again. Until then, be safe, be strong, and think of me often.
I love you,
Your wife , Cort <3
