Last night I had a dream we were hiking. There were many people all around us, but all I remember is seeing you and me. In my dream, we were hiking in what looked like a big canyon. We were on a trail that was maybe two feet wide with one side as the canyon wall and the other side a cliff that dropped down to hundreds of feet below.
We had been walking for a few miles when the trail gave way to a spot where we had to jump from one side to the other to continue on. As dreams usually are, this moment was very exaggerated. Though the space in between the trails was only a few feet long, it looked like a mile to me. In my dream, I remember peering down to the canyon below and thinking there was no way I could cross. I started to shake and cry and cling to the mountain to the side of me --- deathly afraid of falling. In the meantime, you had already jumped to the other side. When I looked across at you, you turned back to me and simply held out your hand.
I remember standing tall again, wiping my tears, taking one last look below me, and grabbing your hand before I took that big leap of faith to the other side.
Waking up this morning, that moment was so vivid in my mind. I also couldn't help but think of the correlation between my dream and Peter walking on water. When Jesus walked on water to join His disciples on the boat, He told Peter to come to Him. The stormy sea began to crash waves against Peter and he became afraid, crying out to the Lord. Jesus then reached His hand out and grasped Peter's.
Like Peter, I was too afraid to cross the trail, until you reached out your hand to me. I think of all the times you've held your hand out to me, both figuratively and literally, and I'm overcome with emotion. Heavenly Father blessed me with you---a mommy who has always motivated me and guided me throughout my life. Whenever I have stumbled, you have held out your hand to me, making the choice mine. . .to either grasp it and accept help or to keep trying on my own.
When I think about the type of mother I want to be one day, all I have to do is look at you and it's clear. You're nurturing, honest, faithful, compassionate, a hard worker, my best friend, and most importantly, you're constant. You're constantly there for me should I need a hand to hold along the way. As I'm navigating through and deciding what to do with my life, you will always be ready to lend your hand. And for that, I will always be forever grateful.
Mommy, I love you. I'm grateful for you. I hope that one day I will become half the woman you are. You're my biggest role model, in all ways. Don't ever forget your divine worth.
Love,
Your Dolly
