Today I went to the store after track to get a drink and saw a $20 bill, which reminded me of you. When I was 16, I was getting ready for a date when you walked up to me and handed me twenty dollars and told me it was "In case your date is horrible and you need to get a cab ride home". At the time, I laughed it off and rolled my eyes, happy that I just became $20 richer.
When I was a freshman, I remember getting so mad at you whenever you would go home and tell mom about the guys I was talking to and how they "weren't good guys" or "not trustworthy". It used to make me so upset. I didn't think it was your place to tell me who I could talk to or not, which made me want to talk to them even more, just out of spite. But in the end, my being mad at you would only last so long and I would be back at your car the next day at lunchtime asking to be taken to Safeway, which you would always do.
I remember having a class with you, which I thought was the worst. Whenever I would talk while the teacher was talking, you would glare at me or give me a look of disapproval; which, again, just fueled my acting out. I wanted nothing more than to be independent and make my own choices.
Now, as a senior, and 18 months and 5 days apart from you, I wish I could take back all those moments when I got annoyed at you. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish we could go out to lunch together and you could buy me a cheesy bagel. As I go on dates, I wish you were there to answer the door wearing a Duck Dynasty shirt and holding your machete. I wish you were here to worry about me, even when it's not necessary. I wish we could have a class together and you would keep me in line and on top of assignments. I wish we could have jam sessions in the car, even though we both hate each other's music.
But as I've gotten older, I realize that things will change. When you get home, our car rides and jam sessions aren't going to be as frequent. We will both be adults, doing adult things. But that's okay, because I will always have those memories of spending time with you. Our lives will change, we will change, and circumstances will change, but our friendship will remain constant.
Because of our friendship, I have learned so many lessons. So to my future children, here's my prayer for you:
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I pray you realize that the closest friends you will ever have are the ones you have in your home. You will fight, get irritated, and annoyed at one another, but their friendship will mean more to you than the arguments.
I pray you will be forgiving and that you will show one another love. Your siblings will make mistakes, but your forgiveness could be what gets them through.
I pray you will guard one another when they can't see the danger of their decisions.
I pray that as you're finding yourself, you never leave each other's side. As you're transitioning through the different stages of life, I pray you will lead each other on the right path and encourage one another to continue faithfully on that path.
I pray you will trust one another in all aspects of your life.
I pray you will show one another love, despite your weaknesses.
I pray that as people come into your life that may love you or hurt you, they bring you to know your siblings for the first time or rekindle the relationship you already share.
I pray you will catch one another if any of your feet should slip.
I pray you will help one another feel peace in the midst of hardships and help carry one another when your burdens are too much to bear on your own.
I pray you will encourage one another to be the best you can possibly be and to excel in all you do.
I pray you will help one another know of Heavenly Father's love for them and lead them to a place where His glory dwells. Help one another realize that His love is unfailing and that the only way to see true light is through His light.
There will be days, or even weeks, where you feel like giving up and you will fail to see the point. I pray you will keep your siblings close during those moments and that they will help you to see the bigger picture. I pray you love them with your whole heart and come to rely on your friendship with them as you grow. Throughout your life, people will come and go, but your siblings will always be there for you. Hold them close to your heart and keep that relationship a priority. You won't regret it.
All my Love,
Cortlee
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